Controlling People 09 Sep 18

(Message 1) Often times we encounter E.G.R. people. These are are individuals for whom Extra Grace is Required. Controlling people certainly qualify. In fact, they can be “relationship leeches” that suck the life out of us if we don’t set boundaries. #relationshipleeches



4 Relationship Leeches:

  • Controlling People
  • Hypocritical People
  • Needy People
  • Critical People


The weapons of a controlling person:

  • Threats
  • Guilt


Dealing with controlling people:

  1. Know who we are
  2. Do what God has called us to do
  3. Discuss our boundaries


Scripture used: Daniel 6:1-11, 14-16, 19-24


Key Scriptures

From the Message

Daniel 6:1-24


Start Reading.

Romans 12:17-18

Philippians. 2:3-4

1 Thessalonians 5:11

1 Thessalonians 5:14

Hebrews 3:13

Romans 14:19

Romans 12:3


Start digging. Further study.

Troy ended the message with the statement “know what you’re called to do.” For further study look at the following

How can I find my spiritual calling?  


Your group can also

study through “Start Reading” verses for the week.


Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.

  • On a scale of 1-10, how controlling was the home you grew up in? How has this shaped you?
  • Are you more of a controller or a people pleaser?


Start thinking.  Ask a question to get your group thinking.

  • Why do you think some people are so controlling? What drives this kind of living?
  • What do you think the motivations are for someone who allows themselves to be controlled?


Start studying.  Think back to the message.

  • Read Daniel 6:1-9.   What motivated the other satraps and administrators to pass this law?
  • Read Daniel 6:10-24.  How did Daniel handle this group of men trying to control him?  Discuss the phrase, “just as he had done before.”  What gave Daniel the courage he needed to ignore the foolish law?


Start sharing. Discuss the questions to create openness.

  • Share workplace or other life experiences when someone tried to undermine and outshine hard workers in order to highlight or benefit themselves.
  • If someone who wanted to control you tried to find fault in the way you did your job, would they be successful? What do you think would be an appropriate response?
  • Pastor Troy used the illustration of Daniel fighting the temptation to change in order to please people because he knew what he was called to do. In what area(s) of your life may you need to apply this principle?
  • Over what areas of your life do you try to have the most control? What would you like to do differently?
  • Are you a part of an unhealthy relationship in which you have allowed someone to control you?   How will you begin to draw boundaries?


Start doing. Commit to a next step and live it out this week.

  • Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see any ways in which you have controlled others or have been controlled by others. Tell friends you trust, and take action to find freedom.

Start praying.  Be bold and pray together.

  • Have someone in your group pray through the requests in your prayer journal.
  • Ask God to guide each group member to apply all that you studied together to their own lives and to guide them to their next step.


Troy Knight

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