Don’t Do Stupid: Marriage Edition – Flirting With An Affair 05 Mar

FLIRTING WITH AN AFFAIR:
behaving in a way that could lead to a physical and/or emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse

Red Flags of David’s Sin:

1. David was not where he should have been
2. David had idle time on his hands
3. David saw beauty but didn’t turn away
4. David disregarded truth
5. David became a user instead of a server

Consequences of David’s Sin:

1. Bathsheba’s husband (Uriah) was killed
2. David & Bathsheba’s son died
3. David was miserable
4. His character was shattered
5. The Lord was disappointed in David

ABC’s of “Don’t Do Stupid”:

• Accountability
• Boundaries
• Confession

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Key Scripture:

1 Corinthians 10:12 (NLT)

12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.

2 Samuel 11:1–4a (NLT)

1 In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem. 

2 Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. 3 He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NLT)

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

James 5:16 (NLT)

16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

2 Samuel 11:27b-12:13 (NLT)

Ephesians 5:1-14a  (NLT)

Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.

• Do you have any funny stories or inside jokes that you share with your spouse that you’re willing to share with us?

Start sharing. These questions are to help get your group thinking and to create openness.

• Read 2 Samuel 11:1-4a. What were the circumstances that made possible David’s decision to give into temptation? 
• How can we guard ourselves against these same temptations in our own lives and relationships?
• Have you ever been betrayed by someone close to you? 
• Read 2 Samuel 11:27b-12:13 What were the consequences to David and others because of his infidelity? What relevance do David’s decision and its consequences have today?
• Discuss this statistic shared by Pastor Clay, ”anywhere from 30-60% of all marriages face some unfaithfulness (these are the ones that actually admit it).”
• How would you counsel someone who is contemplating an affair?
• Clay laid out his “ABC’s of not Doing Stupid: 1) Accountability (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10); 2) Boundaries (Ephesians 5:1-14a); 3) Confession (James 5:16). How have, or can, you establish these safeguards in your current or future relationships?
• How can we support and encourage our fellow Christian brothers and sisters who may be struggling in their marriage?
• How can we pray for and actively support those who have experienced the pain and brokenness of infidelity in their marriage?

Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.

• Identify an accountability partner to help hold you accountable, and to be someone in whom you can confide and confess when you are struggling.

Start praying. Be bold and pray with power.

• Ask Jesus to help you guard your heart against temptation and to help you to love your spouse and honor your covenant as He intends for you.  Thank Jesus for forgiving you where you fall short, and for His perfect love through it all.

Start digging. For further study.

• Read this Got Questions article, “What is the difference between a covenant and a contract?”

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