Don’t Do Stupid: Marriage Edition – Living Together First 26 Feb 23

(Message 2) Try before you buy! That may be good in used car sales, but not in a marriage. It sounds wise, but statistics tell us that people who live together first are at least twice as likely to divorce. Why is this and is there a better way? Join us today for a clear and practical message, “Don’t Do Stupid: Marriage Edition – Living Together First”. #GCDontDoStupid

Reasons people live together before marriage:

  • Try before you buy
  • It’s just practical
  • It’s just a piece of paper


Why living together first is a bad idea:

  • It establishes a mindset of leaving as an option
  • God’s way is always the best way


Your options moving forward…

  • Blow this off
  • Break up
  • Stop living together
  • Get married


Start reading.

Key Scripture:

1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NLT)

3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.

1 Thessalonians 4:4-8 (NLT)

4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. 

 Genesis 2:21–24 (NLT)

21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. 

    “This one is bone from my bone, 

      and flesh from my flesh! 

    She will be called ‘woman,’ 

      because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” 

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.

  • Have you ever lived with someone you’re not married to?  What was your reason for that choice?

Start sharing. These questions are to help get your group thinking and to create openness.

  • Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3.  What is God’s will for your life?  What does holiness look like in your life as a single person or as a married one?
  • Read 1 Thessalonians 4:4-8.  Contrast a life of self control vs a life of lustful passion.  What are the long term repercussions of both?  What pre-decisions have to be made to live a life of self control?
  • Does it surprise you that 70% of people who get married live with someone before they get married?  Why is the percentage of people so high? 
  • Pastor Troy said that couples who cohabitate before marriage have much higher divorce rates. What do you think are some of the reasons for that higher divorce rate?
  • What would you say to the person who says, “Marriage is no big deal. It’s just a piece of paper and a ceremony?”  What would God say to that?  See Genesis 2:21-24 for reference on the first marriage.
  • What did Paul mean by “harming or cheating a fellow believer” through sexual sin?
  • How would you advise someone who is currently cohabitating?
  • If you are single and dating your way, what can your small group or GC do to help you date and marry God’s way?

Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.

  • Identify one area of sexual sin in your life, confess it, and ask God’s help in repenting of that sin.

Start praying. Be bold and pray with power.

  • Give thanks and praise to God that He has revealed His will to you, that you will live in holiness.  Confess where you have fallen short and disobeyed Him, and ask for His continued strength and guidance.

Start digging. For further study.


Troy Knight

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