The Vow of Partnership 16 Feb 20

When dating, opposites attract.
When married, opposites attack.

Every great relationship progresses through 3 stages:
ME – YOU – WE

Our Choice:
Move to WE
– OR –
Try to make YOU what’s best for ME

“As long as I try to make YOU what’s best for ME there’s no room for WE.”

A common vision for your marriage:

1. A common vision for your FAITH.
2. A common vision for your FINANCES.
3. A common vision for your FAMILY.
   

We will develop a common vision for our FAITH by practicing the following: ____________.

“I vow our marriage will be more about WE and less about ME.”

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Start reading.

Genesis 2:21-24 NLT

So, the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’because she was taken from ‘man.’This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Matthew 19:3-6 NLT

Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female. And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Prov 29:18a KJV

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Prov 29:18a NLT

When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild.

Psalms 127:3 NLT

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warriors hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.

Start talking. Find a conversation starter for your group.

• If you’re in a relationship, how are you opposites, and how are you similar?
• Share the first thing that attracted you to your spouse. If you’re single, what is the most important attribute you’re looking for in a significant other?

Start thinking. Ask a question to get your group thinking.

• Troy said, “When dating, opposites attract. When married, opposites attack.” How have you seen this played out in your marriage or in a previous marriage? 
• Read Genesis 2:21-24 and Matthew 19:3-6. What do you think it means to become united to a spouse? Share some examples of why a marriage could struggle to move from ME or YOU to WE.

Start sharing. Choose a question to create openness.

• Troy shared 3 things for which married couples should have a common vision: 

1) A common vision for your FAITH.

In what ways are you practicing a common vision for faith in your marriage? If this is an area where you need to improve, what steps do you plan to take to make that happen? If single, then how are you preparing yourself for a possible marriage relationship with regard to your faith and what you are looking for in a spouse?

2) A common vision for your FINANCES.

The number one cause of divorce in America is arguments over money. In what ways are you striving as a couple to be unified in your finances? If this is an area in which you need to improve, what steps toward improvement do you plan to take? If you are single, are there ways to view your finances now that could prepare you for a possible future marriage?

3) A common vision for your FAMILY.

In what ways are you striving as a couple to be unified in how you raise your children? If this is an area where you need to improve, what steps for improvement do you plan to take? If you are a single parent what steps are you taking to raise your children in unity with the Bible? If you are a grandparent, how can you support your children and their spouses to find oneness in raising their children?

Start doing. Commit to a step and live it out this week.

Commit to working on the one area of the 3 above with which you struggle the most in your marriage.   

Start praying.  Be bold and pray with power.

• Heavenly Father, help us to always pursue godly relationships about “we” and not “me.” Holy Spirit, give us the strength to love the way You love us. Jesus, You sacrificed Your life for us. Teach us to lay down ourselves as godly partners. Amen!

Start digging. For further study.

• Read the article, “What does it mean to be one flesh in a marriage?“ in Got Questions.

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